Ink & Bourbon
Tilting at windmills. Because those windmills think they're better than us.

On Help, Different Definitions of

by Patrick LeClerc
Nonfiction. Strong language. 2 minutes.

I was a very new EMT, working in Phillips Mills, Masachusetts, which is a very poor city, famed for having the state assume control of its schools, going into receivership, and the fire department dispatchers being caught on camera having sex and snorting coke on duty (although they still did a better job dispatching than Rivererdale ever did.)

My kinda town.

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, one bitter cold winter evening, we got a 911 call to check out a man sprawled on the sidewalk. We headed over, and found a well known drunk, who was, true to form, drunk, and unable to get up and move along. The police don't take drunks inot custody anymore, since they don't want the liability if a guy seizes and dies in a cell, and the shelters are all dry, so we generally take them to the ER where they take up space, sleep it off, get a free sammich, pee on the stretcher and sign out AMA.

On the state. Your tax dollars at work.

So, the guy was basically ok, just really hammered. He was breathing fine, his vitals were good, but it was too cold to leave him on the sidewalk, so we got ready to take him. My partner was in the truck notifying the hospital, cancelling the Medics and turning on the lights and heat in the back, while I was out with the cot, the patient and a cop.

I lowered the cot, and walked behind the patient, grabbing him under the arms to lift him onto the cot. "You think you can help me get this guy on the stretcher?" I asked the policeman.

"Sure," he replied, and leaned over the patient.

Now, I assumed he was going to grab the guy's knees and we'd lift him onto the cot.

I assumed wrong.

The cop leaned over until the bill of his hat was tocuhing the drunk's forhead, inflated his lungs like a drill instructor and bellowed:

"GET ON THE FUCKING STRETCHER!"

The drunk suddenly regained control of his legs and hopped onto the cot. The cop smiled, touched his hat and walked away.

In his defense, he did help me get the guy on the stretcher.


Books by Patrick LeClerc


Immortal Vagabond Healer Series

Book 1

Out of Nowhere by Patrick LeClerc

Sean Danet is immortal—a fact he has cloaked for centuries, behind enemy lines and now a paramedic’s uniform. Having forgotten most of his distant past, he has finally found peace. But there are some things you cannot escape, however much distance you put behind you.

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Book 2

Spitting Image by Patrick LeClerc

Immortal Sean Danet can heal others with a touch. Finally, after too long as a rootless vagabond, he has found a place he feels he belongs, with friends he can trust and the love of an intelligent, beautiful woman. The life he dreamed of but never expected to attain.

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Short Historical Adventures

Advancing on Paris by Patrick LeClerc

One of the problems with being immortal is you get to live through all of history's most famous blunders. Like Napoleon's inspired idea for a land war in Asia. If you love historical military fiction, action and adventure, or just one of the sexiest urban fantasy heroes of all, Advancing on Paris is a must.

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More Great Fiction from Patrick LeClerc


in Every Clime and Place by Patric LeClerc

Semper Fidelis. The motto of the United States Marine Corps. On the ragged edges of civilization, Corporal Michael Collins has lived those words, taking on riots and evacuations, rebels and terrorists. Asteroid belt patrol is just another deployment. Ninety nine percent boredom, one percent terror.

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Broken Crossroads by Patrick LeClerc

The city of Laimrig, once a mighty hub of commerce and a seat of power sinks into corruption and decay. Slavers, crime lords and corrupt officials hold sway while the ruling nobility wallow in decadence. War rages beyond the borders, while within rebellion simmers and sinister plots unfold.

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